Cast Off Old Regrets

Count your blessings, Name them one by one… 

There are so many things in my life that happened between the ages of 16 and 25 that I regret.

Let’s start with the ten years I spent working in dead end jobs. REGRET!

Then there was a string of girlfriends and pointless relationships. BIG REGRET!!!!!!!

and finally, the bad financial decisions that I made over the course of ten years because, not only did I not know any better, but also there was a great part of me that just didn’t care. MAJOR REGRET!!!!!!

Finally, it all came crashing down. I was confident that I had failed in almost every aspect of my life, and was pretty sure if there was a poster child for a lost cause, it was me. I sat at home alone many night thinking about all the ways I had screwed up and wondered if it was even worth it. At one point, I contemplated suicide. I was scared enough that I reached out to a family member who took me to the hospital. While hospitalized, I had a few days to think about how I was at the lowest point of my life, and wonder what could happen from there. Counseling and therapy helped me get a hold of myself a little more, and I left the hospital motivated to start making everything better. I worked as hard as I could, sometimes two and three jobs at a time, because the busier I was the more accomplished I felt. Working helped, but even with all the work, all I had to show for it was a lonely apartment and work friends. I never had time to make friends outside of work. During this season, I didn’t give Christ a second thought. I was out for me and what I could accomplish. Work was god. I threw myself in and took as many hours as I could. Most days off, I would still show up at work and try to help out around the store… because work…. but things were getting better.

In January of 2016, I met THE GIRL, and things started to change. Being with her made me happier than a fat kid in a candy store (also me…). Work was still important, but my reasons for working so hard began to change. I didn’t work for me anymore. I worked to start to prove that I was deserving of her. I loved her, she loved me, we decided to get married. Together, we started looking for a church. We found Christ and his church. At least I found his church. She was already there because she was already Catholic. She had experienced Christ in his wholeness like I never had.

I look back over these past few years now, and realize that had I not reached my lowest point, I would never have began my rebound to where I am today. No, I don’t have it all together by any means. I am truly blessed.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE….

Now I have the girl, I have the jobs, I have the church, I have the savior… I have the future.

They say hind sight is 20/20. Looking back now, the regrets that had caused me so much pain and heartache begin to make sense. Everything I used to regret, I am now thankful for. The last ten years have been a season of transition and learning; A time to realize what I have been and to motivate me to what I can be. There is no reason to regret the past anymore, because without the past, I wouldn’t have this future.

“Pain may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Peace to you. Count Your Blessings.

-AR

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