Today hasn’t been bad. Not at all.
But for some reason that I can’t explain, all day I have just been pissed off at the world. I tried not to let it show. I tried very hard. but I was feeling anxious and annoyed and not in control for NO REASON at all.
My anxiety grew worse and worse as the morning went on until I forced myself to stop and think.
“Why am I feeling like this?”
Again, I couldn’t not figure it out. There was absolutely no logical reason… as there usually isn’t for anxiety and worry.
I sat back in my chair and thought for a minute.
“Well, I haven’t eaten anything today.” That could be it. “I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” That could be it, too.
So I got up and went to the kitchen and pulled out the meal prep that Bre had made for our lunches last night. I figured I would just eat as I worked…
*Side note: I hate vegetables, but she has figured out that if she burns them enough, I’ll eat them… so long as I can’t taste the vegetable-ness. The chicken and mozzerella sticks were pretty good too! Thanks babe. You made my day better without even knowing it.*
Before I ate, I reflected.
Hey Jesus, thanks for this meal prep and thank you for an awesome woman who took the time to make these meal preps. Oh yeah, and I don’t know why I’m feeling all anxious like this, but could you please do something about it?
A lightbulb went off.
As I started eating at my desk, I’m pretty sure I heard Jesus say, “Hey dummy, mass starts in 45 minutes and you’ve already eaten lunch. Come and see me.”
Well… Ok, Jesus.
I asked my boss if she cared if I left ten minutes early for my lunch break so I could make it to the Cathedral in time for lunch. She didn’t care a bit, bless her heart.
I jumped in my car and got to church as fast as I could.
I wish I could explain the atmosphere in the cathedral, but if you’ve ever stepped foot in a church of any kind, you probably know. it’s quiet, reflective, peaceful.
I made my way to the pew as quickly and quietly as my boots would allow because Father and the altar server were already about to start their procession.
And mass was awesome. For me anyway… There were no great theological mysteries revealed, no ancient secrets unveiled. It was just the congregation, Father, and Jesus.
You know, in Matthew, Jesus promised that where two or three are gathered in his name, he would be there. He was there at mass today, and I got to experience him. He’ll be there for me everyday, as long as I am looking and open to seeing him. Oh, and I got to take communion today. I got to experience him in his actuality even more. Jesus took an anxious day, and turned it around for me in the course of an hour. He restored my peace.
They call him the Prince of Peace for more than one reason. He is my prince of personal peace and more…
Blessings to you and yours.