Let’s start with a recap of my day so far.
Come to work, open the office at 8:30, phones starts ringing at 8:32, first customer in my office at 8:36. That takes about 30 minutes, I have time to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water from the kitchen before my next appointment comes in. She takes me forever to get through. Phone call, office visit, phone call, underwriter returns my phone calls, which leads to another phone call to a customer. Then I call another customer who’s call I had missed while with the first customer. Boy, was she mad about something or other….
Hotel texts me, “Can you work tonight.”
“Nope, I’ve got RCIA.” or was it something along the lines of “you don’t pay me enough to be at your beck and call?” No, it was because of RCIA…
More calls, more policies, a couple of vendors stop by.
Feeling a little overwhelmed.
My boss peeks her head in the office and says, “We’re going to lunch.”
I look at my watch… it’s 11:36. How’d that happen?
“No problem, I’ll see you after.”
They leave and more customers come in. Customer needs change, I go in bosses office, can’t find change, call boss… “Oh, I have the change with me.”
“Maam, I don’t have any change right now. Can you go get some?”
More customers come in in the midst of this…
I finally get all the customers out of the office, and it’s 12:15. I debate skipping lunch, but I’m stressed out and I’m hungry. *JUST BE*
Run to office, grab phone and keys, lock up, drive home, eat a turkey sandwich, packet of tuna, some strawberries… jump back in the car, drive back to work. Notice somehow I beat boss back to work. Scratch head, walk in office, drop into my chair, realize I haven’t blogged today, twenty minutes left on my lunch. *JUST BE*
Holy shit, it’s only 12:40. I was just gone 25 minutes. There’s still three more hours in my work day. *JUST BE*
All this rushing around this morning, letting myself get stressed out, and suddenly I have a few minutes to just sit.. *TO JUST BE*…
I got a text from Father Jamie on Holy Thursday.
“Have you been to your first confession yet?”
I sheepishly looked at my phone.
“No, I haven’t”
I braced myself for the response. It came.
“Then you better come see me,” he texted. “I am free now until 5:30. I will be free part of the day tomorrow.
“I can come after work,” I texted him back. “My last appointment for the day is at 3:45. I should be leaving the office around 4:00. Is that OK?”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know how to start, so I googled, “What do I do at confession.” Of course I found all the standard prayers and recitations, but there was no way I would remember them.
I would just have to wing it.
I arrived at the church just after 4:00, and Father was already in the cathedral waiting on me. As we walked into the Confessional, I told him, “I have no idea what to say.”
“Just tell me what is on your heart.”
“Here we go,” I though.
“Well, work was hard today,” I said. “I dealt with clients all day who are spoiled and angry. I did good not to come across my desk at some of them.”
“So you are confessing your anger,” he asked.
“Yes, I suppose I am. The stress of everything makes me so mad I can’t see straight sometimes.”
I confessed more that I’ll share here, but the point is this…
Father Jamie said, “You know, we are about to start the triduum. Your penance is to be at every mass over the next three days. More specifically, don’t bring anything into these masses except yourself. Watch and pray. Just be… If work is hard before you come in or you’re stressed out, pissed off, or whatever. Leave that at the door, commune with God, and just exist in him for those few minutes.”
FLASH FORWARD BACK TO TODAY
Customers, policies, getting yelled at by that one client. Boss leaves for lunch, I get slammed. Can’t handle everything and I’m getting stressed out.
Father echoed in my head, “Alex, you idiot, just be…”
“OH YEAH! I can do that!”
I stop… I write… I pray… I *JUST BE* for these last few minutes of my lunch break.
The stress fades. The atmosphere becomes peaceful and Holy as I remember and meditate on Christ for a few minutes before I re-open the office from lunch. The room is silent, the only sound is the air conditioner stirring the air around me… And I just exist in a state of only prayer and worship.
I think I’ll try to *JUST BE* for the rest of the day….
Lord, help me to remember to *just be* in you always
Remember to take time to *JUST BE*